,, why ,,

..it's not that i don't love you
it's not that i don't care,
it's that when i look in your eyes
i can see you don't want me there..

...so even though it kills my heart
to have to let you be,
i have got to do what's right for you
and forget what's right for me.




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..today the tears finally fell.. the pain was so real it was practically tearing my heart out. i could only wish it didn't hurt that much but i was hoping in vain. why do i have the audacity to question God about the pain that i am feeling, when i never once questioned him when i was experiencing happiness in all its grandeur. lessons learned and lessons ignored; consequences would always be greater than you could afford.
i know that although the pain may eventually fade it could possibly stay as a painful reminder that i should never entrust my full happiness to anyone else because nothing is permanent especially people.. friends become strangers, lovers become friends.. and people leave. that's the bitter truth - deal with it, and live with it..